2002 Reading List

Silver on the Tree by Susan Cooper – 5 January 2002
Mr Commitment by Mike Gayle – 12 January 2002
Bridget Jones’s Diary by Helen Fielding – 13 January 2002
In a Sunburned Country by Bill Bryson – 3 February 2002
All Families are Psychotic by Douglas Coupland – 15 February 2002
Last Places by Lawrence Millman – 25 February 2002
Tepper Isn’t Going Out by Calvin Trillin – 3 March 2002
The Mists of Avalon by Marion Zimmer Bradley – 16 March 2002
Jemima J by Jane Green – 27 March 2002
Elegy for Iris by John Bayley – 6 April 2002
Neither Here Nor There: Travels in Europe by Bill Bryson – 7 April 2002
The Hottest State by Ethan Hawke – 1 May 2002
Virginia Woolf by Nigel Nicholson – 3 June 2002
Portrait of a Marriage by Nigel Nicolson and Vita Sackville-West – 17 June 2002
Consuming Passions by Michael Lee West – 21 June 2002
Gift of a Letter by Alexandra Stoddard – 26 June 2002
The Hours by Michael Cunningham – 1 July 2002
Otherwise Engaged by Suzanne Finnamore – 12 July 2002
True to Form by Elizabeth Berg – 14 July 2002
Only in London by Hanan Shaykh – 20 July 2002
A Home at the End of the World by Michael Cunningham – 22 July 2002
Endangered Pleasures by Barbara Holland – 13 August 2002
Tender at the Bone by Ruth Reichl – 26 August 2002
Comfort Me With Apples by Ruth Reichl – 04 September 2002
Endless Feasts: Sixty Years of Writing from Gourmet edited by Ruth Reichl – 17 September 2002
The Trouble With Catherine by Andres Hruby – 17 September 2002
Don’t Let’s Go to the Dogs Tonight by Alexandra Fuller – 21 September 2002
A Very Close Conspiracy – Vanessa Bell and Virginia Woolf by Jane Dunn – 14 October 2002
The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold – 1 November 2002
Vita and Harold by Nigel Nicolson – 4 November 2002
Quarterlife Crisis: The Unique Challenge of Life in Your Twenties by Alexandra Robbins & Abby Wilner – 14 November 2002
Microserfs by Douglas Coupland – 1 December 2002
By the River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept by Paulo Coelho – 6 December 2002
The Tale of the Rose by Consuelo de Saint-Exupery – 17 December 2002
Artemis Fowl and the Arctic Incident by Eoin Colfer – 23 December 2002

fucking tree

our christmas tree fell over last night. twice. the damn thing is big enough that it scrapes the ceiling – yet somehow either it fell over on its own – or the cat helped it – all around 2am. ugh. we both heard a crash, so i went to investigate. n helped me prop the tree back up, i tightened the screws again, and went to refill the water. as i was under the tree refilling the water – you guessed it – the tree came crashing down again. grrararrarrrr. miraculously nothing broke – including me, buried under eight glorious feet of white pine – so we’re going to redecorate and rearrange tonight. i think i should probably rewater the tree – but if it comes down on me again, i swear i’m going to kick that shit to the curb. we’ll see.

lunch

had a “working lunch” today during which dan and i plotted to eat bread and not go back to work because we were in theory with our bosses. my creamer was “mini-moo” brand. and then we came back to work and the computers were down and i stared at my wall for a couple of hours.
tonight i made “my old man’s superb chicken” from the new naked chef cookbook and it was DIVINE. the wine sauce could’ve reduced a bit more – but oh, it was wonderful.

my house is a mess

my house is a freaking mess. that’s the bad part about leaving for the weekend – i come home and my house is shit. at least i didn’t have to make dinner – n has cooked the last three nights. good husband. i did have to go to the laudromat, but i really don’t mind that. it just sucks that i have to go do ANOTHER thing after work instead of coming home.
the weather was really lovely today – sunny and warmer than it’s been recently – the snow and ice were melting, which is good by me. i emerged from the basement into the light of mid-afternoon and didn’t want to go back down.
my stockings have a big hole in the heel. damned cheap stockings.
letters to write, books to read, a tub to soak in….
today’s list: things i miss about the old apartment

  1. consistent hot water
  2. doors that can lock without a key
  3. linoleum in the kitchen
  4. a pantry with a window
  5. the deep wonderful clawfoot tub
  6. being able to check the mail without really going outside
  7. shelves above my sink
  8. temperature control
  9. bedroom doors that latch
  10. memories of her wherever i look

new

new quotes. new clicks. new words. not really lotsa new stuff but lotsa stuff floating around my head. i got my journal finally – no. 998 – rachel fedexed it to me at eva’s. i opened it with a great deal of wonder – and spent the greater part of the weekend – when i could stop glowing for a minute – thinking about it. i’ve got some good ideas, i think. jen loaned me her colored pencils and a glue stick. dan loaned me his head collection. we’re off and running!
i woke up this morning smelling her – and then realized it’s just the lotion she wears that i got by mistake and had left on my nightstand. and then i remembered how good our goodbye was. and how happy we both were. and how crazy i feel inside – and it didn’t matter so much that she wasn’t there because she’ll be there soon – or i’ll be with her. right now time doesn’t even seem to really exist. and that’s a wonderful feeling.

her

i am so happy.
so very happy.
i spent the weekend with her and it was so wonderful. we both cried and laughed a lot – and cooked and shopped and kissed in the movie theatre and stayed in bed late and and and…sigh. i’m so happy. i don’t even know how to explain it. when we first figured things out, i was deliriously in love but whenever i left her i was devastated because i had to leave. today i’m every bit as much in love – and many many things have changed – but one change for the better was that leaving wasn’t devastating – i got out to my car and had to call her to tell her one more time how much i love her.
i can’t even begin to say what i’m feeling. i feel like i have a big stupid grin on my face. i feel like i’m 14. i don’t know when i will see her again and as horrible as that is, it can’t damper the wonder and joy i’m feeling right now.
we’re ok. we’re really ok.
and if you’re reading this, i’m wicked crazy in love with you………