WINNER

I’M DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, I’m done with the NaNo requirements. I don’t think I’m done with the novel….but I’M DONE!!!!!!! If you go to NaNoWriMo and click on “Winners” you will find a girl named Sophie Fontaine – brixton – listed as a winner with her novel This Palace of Winds. I’m still trying to decide if I want to keep the pseudonym – I really like the name but might like to see my real name up there too. Hmm.

Fuck it. I’M DONE!!!!!!!!

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ugh

ever have one of those weeks where you’re sure you shouldn’t buy a lottery ticket or go bungee jumping because your luck is just THAT bad? that’s my week. we went to the thrill kill kult show last night and i was really cautious – i set the cruise control for 67, just over the limit, and trucked away towards milwaukee. once you get into milwaukee, the speed limit is 55, so i turned off the cruise control and slowed down. traffic was speeding by me, and i sped up going into a corner with everyone else. of course, who’s waiting around that corner but mr friendly milwaukee sheriff, all too happy to pull me over for 18 over. keep in mind that i have no license and no credit card. fortunately for me, the officer got called away to an emergency and didn’t make me pay on the spot, although george said we could’ve put it on one of his credit cards and paid him back. so now i have two tickets in 6 days, probably 12 points on my license, and i’m down $331.40. this pretty much cements the ‘should we move to madison?’ debate – no point in moving up there if i can’t drive. we’d have to get a place in the city or i couldn’t work. god, i feel so fucking dumb.

20,000 is coming close

so i’m getting close to 20,000. should’ve been there on friday – or earlier – but that’s just how it is. i struggled with the love scene all weekend – it’s so hard to write sex that isn’t tacky, porn, or unconvincing. i guess i just tried to write it the way i experience it – and if that makes it tacky, porn, or unconvincing – well, that’s just too bad, isn’t it? i only got about 1,000 words each saturday and sunday – but yesterday i punched up almost 5,000, so i guess that makes up for it. i need to average about 2,600 in order to stay on top – but we’ll be at pub quiz tomorrow night, thrill kill kult on thursday, and i have the honors party on friday – so i think i’m going to have to play major catch up today. i should be writing right now – but didn’t want to get in the middle of something and then have to go to work. ugh.

what a weekend. i managed to get a speeding ticket – 85 in a 65 but out of state so it cost me $166.40 which i had to pay on the spot – and then lost my drivers’ license and my amcheck card at the show. i had my cards in my pack of cigarettes, which was tucked into the top of my stocking. of course it fell out within about ten minutes, so i spent the next fifteen frantically searching for it, then conning the box office girl to let me use her phone to call in and cancel it. i was one step short of hysterical. i told nate he would have to drive – and he started going off on me – so i said fuck it and went off by myself. fortunately michelle came and found me – she gave me a drink ticket and made me all happy again. nick was bombed – he was bobbling away the whole way home to the beastie boys. cracks me up.

*yawn* should probably get ready for work, eh? no word from erik – i hope i didn’t scare him away….

nanowrimo

National Novel Writing Month
i am a chickenshit.
i really want to do this project. really want to. and it’s only the 8th, so i would still have lots of time to write. i’ve even gone to the page to sign up. but something keeps stopping me and i think it’s my own chickenshitedness.
fuck it, i’m signing up.
ok, i just signed up. now i just have to come up with 50,000 words in 22 days. aaaaaaahhhhhhh!

birthday brunch

i apologize for the morose posts this week. i’ve been in a funk and i just can’t explain it. i think it has a lot to do with last weekend – and with grad school. i’m seriously thinking about the university of wisconsin school of library and information studies – to study library science in particular. a couple of problems – i don’t live in wisconsin. tuition for residents is around $5000/year. tuition for non-residents is around $17000/year. so, you say, why not just move there, establish residency, and be done with it? it takes a year to establish residency in the state of wisconsin. meaning that if we found a place tomorrow, we’d have to break our lease, move to wisconsin, get new jobs (well, i would – nate already works in madison), and live there for a whole year before i could even apply! now, it’s likely we won’t move until springtime because we just moved two months ago. application for the fall semester ends december 15. so if we move in may of 2003, the earliest i could conceivably start school would be january 2005. that is, if they allow you to start at the half. i’m excited about the possibility of a move, about going to school – but i’m depressed because at the minimum i can’t start for two years. and paying $35000 for a $10000 education is just out of the question. we’d be paying more for two years of graduate work at a public university than for four years (including a semester abroad) of undergraduate work at a private college. i think that’s most of what’s getting me down – that and pms

nate just doesn’t understand because he doesn’t see the rush. he feels like he’s giving me everything he has to give – and that’s not enough. he doesn’t understand that i am happy with him – it’s just these other circumstances in my life are depressing me. he seems to think that it’s a competition, that i have to have my degree before my friends do – well, that’s not going to happen and it isn’t the case anyway. i am depressed because i found something i want to do – and now i have to wait. am i crazy? maybe.

anyway, i should go – we’re having brunch with my family in an hour to celebrate my dad’s birthday – which isn’t until next weekend. why are we celebrating today instead of next weekend? no one seems to know. oh well, free breakfast is good by me!