I’m sitting in what may be my last actual library course in my career in library school. They’re talking about collection development, and I’ve spent most of the class either checking my email or doing the reading for this class – reading that we will never discuss, reading that I will never write anything about (save this blog post), reading that really has little-to-no relevance to the work I anticipate doing. This semester has been intensely frustrating because of classes like this.

I have so much work to do, and the hours that I spend in this class feel like wasted time, time when I should be doing other work – but I know if I didn’t have to be here, I would either be sleeping or in the office working on OTHER things I desperately need to be doing. Over night the semester got all hot and heavy, and I’m up to my eyes in work – both work-work and homework and research and writing and reading.

The lecturer is using a wireless lapel mic, but instead of clipping the little mic to her shirt, she is holding it up to her mouth, and for some reason that’s annoying me.

I think the biggest thing that’s come down the pipes this week has been a serious, serious consideration of the PhD program – which is somewhat ironic, given the discontent discussed above. I expressed a lot of this to my adviser – well, not the part about the mic – and she talked me around and through most of my concerns. I’m excited, terrified, etc. I’m writing a thesis in the spring with the intention of starting PhD work in the fall – in the interim I just have to do the application and cross my fingers and continue to woo faculty members who seem to like me an awful lot already.

I was wide awake at 5:30 this morning and couldn’t get back to sleep, and I found myself walking downtown for breakfast at 7 while the sun was coming up over the buildings and the park and the trees full of color. The sky was gray with encroaching pink, and a man nodded at me and said “good morning” as I crossed Main Street and the sun burned red over the train tracks behind the old depot.


for some reason we were talking about tattoos that night, late, as the paint dried on the walls of the small room around us. i touched the circles on his inner forearms. we talked about faith, and how those marks were a reminder. i asked him if he had any others, and he said “do you want to know? maybe i should let you wait and find out.” he said it with laughter in his voice, with me perched on a stool in my skirt and boots and sweater like the night.

i didn’t find out, and i had forgotten until just now, watching all the real girls, when zooey deschanel touches the tattoo on her boyfriend’s shoulder and he laughs and says that he got it a long time ago.

Lou’s Mushroom Soup

With thanks to The Kitchen Table Restaurant in Marshfield, WI

1 lb sliced mushrooms
1 diced onion
3 T butter
3 T flour
1 t salt
1 t pepper
1 bay leaf
1/2 t rosemary
3 cans beef bouillon (not sure how this translates into cups)
1 C white wine
2 C sour cream

Saute mushrooms and onions in butter until tender. Sprinkle with flour and cook 2 minutes more, stirring constantly. Stir in bouillon and seasonings – you can substitute chicken or veg broth for the beef. Simmer 10 minutes, stirring occasionally. Just before serving, add sour cream and wine. Heat to just under boil. Makes about 2 qts.

The Best Damned Chili I’ve Ever Made

Adapted from cooks.com:

1 lg. yellow onion, chopped
6 garlic cloves, minced
2 tbsp. cumin seed
6 tbsp. olive oil, divided use
2 red bell peppers, seeded & chopped
2 Poblano peppers, seeded & chopped
2 Jalapenos, seeded & chopped
2 Serranos, seeded & chopped
1 tbsp. each: ground coriander, cinnamon & black pepper
2 lbs. ground turkey
4 c. tomatoes with juice, chopped
2 c. chicken stock
1 c. Mexican beer
1 (7 oz.) can Chipotle peppers in Adobo sauce, coarsely chopped
1/4 c. grated unsweetened chocolate

Saute onion, garlic and cumin in 3 tablespoons olive oil until transparent. Add chopped peppers and saute over medium heat about 10 minutes. Add chili paste, chili powder, coriander, cinnamon and pepper. Saute 5 minutes and set aside. Brown turkey in remaining olive oil. Add tomatoes, chicken stock and beer and chiptles. Simmer slowly 30 to 45 minutes or put in the crock pot for a while (1 hour on high, longer on low). Just before serving, stir in chocolate. Serve with whatever you’d like.


you are in my bed again. how are you in my bed again? i laugh with your mouth against my skin, my hand on the back of your head protecting you from my nightstand. we toss about with laughter and kisses and mouths and skin and hands in hair and sheets and blankets and bodies half off the bed and fingers interlaced and fall asleep together, your body warm next to mine. in the morning i almost don’t want to wake you, your sleepy head on my pillow, your body curled up where mine was not too long before.


i think you might have known me since birth or before, the way your eyes meet mine and go beyond them. i think if you were ever to touch me i would shatter into a thousand pieces and become a part of the dust and air and the ice in your glass.

the last few days

things that have been goin’ on:

on monday i got in a loud argument over metadata with my 501 group (i hate group work). also my brother and his long-term girlfriend broke up.

on tuesday i found out that a boy i had a thing for/with over the summer is getting married. i promptly drank too much, and narrowly avoided lotsa trouble by maintaining my cool when pulled over on the way home. i will not be trying my luck for the rest of the year.

on wednesday i ran back to back nutty classes with nutty instructors who have nutty requests that make me nutty, especially when i’m already tired and hung over and hungry. i then ate greasy diner food and felt beter.

on thursday i gave a presentation at 11am, met with my 501 group (i hate group work) for two hours to talk about metadata, and am currently running a class with THE DEAN. after this i have to run another class, and then i might go see a movie.

this weekend will be work and pumpkins and chili and nanowrimo and more work and more work and more work. and so it goes.