“We are beginning to make friends with the water.”

Rob Brezsny’s Astrology Newsletter – November 15, 2011

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): A great deal of land in the Netherlands has been reclaimed from the sea by human effort. But the system of dikes that holds back the primal flow is not a foolproof or permanent guarantee against flooding. That’s why more and more people are building homes that can float if they have to. “We are actually trying to move away from fighting against the water,” says architect Koen Olthuis. “We are beginning to make friends with the water.” I recommend you adopt this as a useful metaphor, Capricorn. During the coming months, you should be doing a lot of foundation work. What can you do to add buoyancy?

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): “Forgiveness means giving up all hope for a better past,” said comedian Lily Tomlin. I recommend that you make this a keynote during the next six months. According to my understanding of the astrological omens, you will have the best opportunity you’ve had in a long time to put some of your unsettling memories to sleep for good. This is your big chance to graduate from old anxieties that can never be resolved. You’re finally ready to declare your independence from messy burdens and maddening riddles that have haunted you.

I’m not sure what exactly Free Will Astrology is trying to tell me, but it seems like the cosmos wants me to be broken wide open and, like, deep down in my vulnerabilities, struggles, and fears in 2011. I’m not sure I’m ready for that.

What I am ready – or really want to be ready – for is to find some kind of peace with all of the things in my life over which I have no control. I was thinking about this last night as I was trying so hard to fall asleep after two restless nights. I don’t know where that peace comes from, but I’d like a generous helping of it for my birthday. Also ice cream.

Knees and Grace

I went running after work yesterday on already sore knees, and within half a mile, I had to stop.  The hills hurt too much.  I walked until I found a relatively flat route, and then put in almost two miles before I had to quit altogether.  I walked the rest of the distance home, arriving drenched in sweat and on the verge of angry sobs.  I hate feeling out of control.  I hate that I might not be able to do my first 10K in two weeks.  I hate that I have to admit that something might actually be wrong with my knees.  I turned the fan on full bore and stood in front of it in my sports bra, feeling terribly sorry for myself.

And then I read this:

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Rob Brezsny’s Astrology Newsletter – May 26, 2010

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): You’re not living in Iraq or Sudan or the Congo, and you don’t have to walk five miles a day with a jug on your head to fetch the water you need, and you’re not so bereft of food that you have to resort to eating worms and tree bark. So how bad could your problems be? The single best thing you can do to start fixing your life’s small glitches is to feel waves of gratitude for how many resources you have and how lucky you are. The second best thing would be to aggressively take your worried attention off yourself and turn your mind toward people who could really benefit from your help. As you carry out those two assignments, your dilemmas will begin to solve themselves as if by magic.

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I want my life to be full of the sort of grace that comes from aggressively taking my worried attention off myself, and turning my mind toward others.