Where do you belong? I have no idea.

Rob Brezsny’s Astrology Newsletter – September 18, 2012

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Where do you belong? Not where you used to belong and not where you will belong in the future, but where do you belong right now? The answer to that question might have been murky lately, but the time is ripe to get clear. To identify your right and proper power spot, do these things: First, decide what experiences you will need in order to feel loved and nurtured between now and your birthday. Second, determine the two goals that are most important for you to accomplish between now and your birthday. And third, summon a specific vision of how you can best express your generosity between now and your birthday.

This has been in my inbox for just under two months, and my birthday is in a little over two months, and I’m still far from forming answers to any of these questions. I also don’t know what I want to do for my birthday, and would welcome your thoughts on all of the above.

“Gather all around the things that you love, I thought, and prepare to lose them.”

My horoscope for this week suggests that I take maximum advantage of the big opportunity that’s ahead for you, Capricorn: an enhancement of your senses. That’s right. For the foreseeable future, you not only have the potential to experience extra vivid and memorable perceptions. You could also wangle an upgrade in the acuity and profundity of your senses, so that your sight, smell, taste, hearing, and touch will forevermore gather in richer data. For best results, set aside what you believe about the world, and just drink in the pure impressions. In other words, focus less on the thoughts rumbling around inside your mind and simply notice what’s going on around you.

And maybe that’s what this broken arm is for: finally getting me to slow down and notice, appreciate, invest, and give back in ways that I’ve been too busy and distracted and heartsore to do these last few months.

Last night a new friend came by after work – I’d stayed home after a painful casting appointment and a couple of nights of bad sleep – and we took a long walk around my neighborhood. We stopped to look at statues in a park I’d never noticed. We were roped into a game of tag by a bunch of kids playing on the sidewalk. We walked by a new bike repair place and peered through the windows of a soon-to-be coffee shop. We kept an eye out for “my” ice cream truck after hearing a snippet of its signature music. I wouldn’t have taken that walk had I been able to ride, and we wouldn’t have had that visit if I hadn’t had my accident.

On Friday, a friend cut through my stubbornness and kidnapped me for the day. She and her 5 year old made me a futon nest, plied me with margaritas and The Muppet Show, and generally forced me to be still and engaged and present. It was a great day, pain and cast notwithstanding, and it wouldn’t have happened without my accident.

This has been a physically and emotionally difficult week, and will likely be a physically and emotionally difficult summer. There have been and will likely continue to be nights where I’ve cried myself to sleep out of anxiety, frustration, pain, and loneliness. I also know that my physical and emotional pain are so minimal in the grand scheme of things.

But that doesn’t diminish what I’m feeling right now: profoundly grateful for everyone who has reached out, expressed their concern, offered a shoulder to cry on, sent flowers or funny mail, gotten me out of my house or back in it, and generally reminded me that love isn’t binary, that family isn’t defined by blood, that community isn’t bounded by physical space, and that what you put out into the world will be repaid tenfold if only you’re brave enough to let it.

Waiting on a Sign

A month after we moved here, I volunteered at an underground dinner party, drank an alarming amount of wine, and had a tarot reading under the stars. I don’t remember what we talked about in the reading, or what my intention was going into the reading, but I clearly remember the smell of the fire and the sense of the world sparkling around me in the deep velvet fall evening.

I don’t put much stock into such things, though I can certainly see the ways that I am a super Capricorn and how I am different from my Gemini crew here, but I’ve been feeling the urge to get another reading, though I don’t know how to seek that out. The tarot came to me once, dug out from the piles of Steven Link’s stuff in our attic. I would like it to find me again – but in the interim, Rob Brezsny will have to do.

Rob Brezsny’s Astrology Newsletter – February 29, 2012

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): The Oxford English Dictionary, an authority on the state of the English language, adds an average of two new words every day. In the coming weeks, Capricorn, I’d like to see you expand your capacity for self-expression with equal vigor. According to my reading of the astrological omens, you’re due for an upgrade in your vocabulary, your clarity, and your communication skills. Here’s one of the OED’s fresh terms, which would be a good addition to your repertoire: “bouncebackability,” the ability to recover from a setback or to rebound from a loss of momentum.

And this:

Fortune dated 02/07/2012

“Energy is everything,” she says, “not emotion.”

Rob Brezsny’s Astrology Newsletter – December 14, 2011

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Emotion is the resource we treasure when we’re young, says poet Naomi Shihab Nye, but eventually what we thrive on even more is energy. “Energy is everything,” she says, “not emotion.” And where does energy come from? Often, from juxtaposition, says Nye. “Rubbing happy and sad together creates energy; rubbing one image against another.” That’s what she loves about being a poet. Her specialty is to conjure magic through juxtaposition. “Our brains are desperate for that kind of energy,” she concludes. I mention this, Capricorn, because the coming weeks will be prime time for you to drum up the vigor and vitality that come from mixing and melding and merging, particularly in unexpected or uncommon ways.

This is feeling particularly timely as we approach the end of our time here. My time will continue for a while longer, but our life here as a couple, as a family unit, will end in a little over a week. It feels like every day we’re rubbing happy and sad together: solidifying friendships just in time to leave, revisiting favorite spots that won’t carry the same weight when we come back to visit, one last time for x or y or z.

I needed to read this today.

Rob Brezsny’s Astrology Newsletter – December 7, 2011

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): There are 501 possible solutions to your current dilemma. At least ten of them would bring you a modicum of peace, a bit of relief, and a touch of satisfaction. Most of the rest wouldn’t feel fantastic, but would at least allow you to mostly put the angst behind you and move on with your life. But only one of those potential fixes can generate a purgative and purifying success that will extract the greatest possible learning from the situation and give you access to all of the motivational energy it has to offer. Be very choosy.

“We are beginning to make friends with the water.”

Rob Brezsny’s Astrology Newsletter – November 15, 2011

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): A great deal of land in the Netherlands has been reclaimed from the sea by human effort. But the system of dikes that holds back the primal flow is not a foolproof or permanent guarantee against flooding. That’s why more and more people are building homes that can float if they have to. “We are actually trying to move away from fighting against the water,” says architect Koen Olthuis. “We are beginning to make friends with the water.” I recommend you adopt this as a useful metaphor, Capricorn. During the coming months, you should be doing a lot of foundation work. What can you do to add buoyancy?

Truth and Ethics

This horoscope is particularly timely given that I just completed my UIUC ethics training for the year.  Since I’m a super Capricorn, does that also mean I’m a mega liar?  I hope not.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): In Sue Allison’s theater piece “Lies I’ve Told,” two actors take turns telling each other some classic whoppers. Here are a few: 1. “It would be no trouble at all.” 2. “This will only take a second.” 3. “I didn’t get your message.” 4. “I have no idea how that got here.” 5. “I thought you said ‘the 16th.'” 6. “Would I lie to you?” See if you can avoid fibs like those, Capricorn. I’m not asking you to be a superstar of candor — that’s unrealistic — but I do encourage you to cut back on white lies and casual dishonesties as much as possible. This is a time when you really need to know the whole truth and nothing but. And the best way to work toward that goal is to be forthright yourself. That’s how karma operates.
– Rob Brezsny’s Astrology Newsletter – October 18, 2011