How am I?

How am I?

Physically?  I’m kind of a mess.  I’m not really eating or sleeping much.  It’s not that I don’t want to – I’m tired all the time and I really do enjoy eating – but when I try to eat, I get full really quickly and nauseous if I continue to eat what I know is a normal portion.  Exception to the rule seems to be chips and salsa.  I try to go to bed at a decent hour – but then I either lay awake, or do this weird sleep thing where I wake up every 30-45 minutes convinced that I haven’t actually been asleep.  I got 8-10 solid hours of sleep at Shawn’s Friday night, which was some kind of miracle, but today I was awake early again (thanks, people picking up yard waste).

Emotionally?  Again, a mixed bag.  Some days are really good, some days are really low.  Some days are in between.  Things seem to be mellowing out a bit with work and relationships and such, but I’m still up and down – just a little more in control.  I think the biggest Agent Of Evil is boredom, really.  I long for summers off, but I know it wouldn’t be a good thing for me emotionally.  I’m not a workaholic, but I definitely deal better with the rest of life when I’m working.

Financially?  Good, actually.  Well, I spent $40 on underwear today which I probably should’ve saved, but things are pretty stable for me right now, money-wise.  It’s a good feeling.  I still have bills and such – but I’m on top of them, so that’s a good thing.  I still owe money to my lawyer, but that’ll be paid off in a couple of weeks when I get my deposit back.  Definitely still living paycheck-to-paycheck, but am hoping that’ll change a bit.

Professionally?  Job sucks, but what are you going to do?  There’s a couple of things on the horizon that I’m thinking about, but nothing really worth mentioning – just some changing around that might lead to opportunities worth considering.  Not sure what’s up with UIUC, but I’ve made it my goal to have my GSLIS application out by early August.  I’m dying to get into school, but am feeling strangely dispassionate about the whole thing right now, which means that I’ve continued to stall.

So it’s kind of a mixed bag, but I’m getting by.  I’ve been reading a lot, which is good, but challenging as well.  I rode my bike yesterday and today.  Tonight we went out for sushi with friends, which was fun.  Gambit has been quite bad lately, and his neediness is just getting to be too much.  It’s looking very likely that Nate will take him back, and I think that’s probably the best thing for all of us, though I will miss my boy cat.  This week I mainly work at the hospital, and it is my friends anniversary with Sarah on Sunday – ten years.  Shawn and I had a nice night together Friday, and I got to wake up with him the last two days.  Life is a curious thing, friends.

Outdated but could be cute

Today has been the wicked-boringest day ever. I’m not sure what the boredom book would say about that statement – but, here’s the thing. I’m not allowed to read, I’m not allowed to write, I can use the internet judiciously but not excessively, I can’t wander around, etc. I’m basically paid to sit in my chair and wait for customers to come to my window – with a few brief exceptions. We’ve been hella dead this last week, and I’ve exhausted all the cleaning and busy work I can think of. I have my knitting and my book with me – but I would get in trouble if I took them out. So….I sit.

Thinking about going to see The Singing Detective tonight at the art theater. I’m ghetto broke (think $45.54 left after paying bills – wait, sorry, make that $45.53) – but I cashed in my “fun fund” change today and am $13-or-so richer. I’ll probably also spend quality time reading and writing letters and drinking hot cocoa – all good cold-weekend-y things to do. Hoping the boy will be home tonight, but really have no idea on that one.

Yesterday we ransacked Grandma’s closet, meaning I came home with all sorts of outdated but could be cute things – skirts and jackets and blouses and – best of all – sweaters! I’ve fallen hardcore in love with the new-old rose cardigan I’m wearing today. Going through the stuff was hard for Mom – but I would rather do it now, with Grandma’s help, than wait. She’s willing to get rid of things now which to us indicates a thought towards leaving the house – and I suppose we have to act on these moments whenever they come around.