Guilty Confessions

My dear friend Erin recently ‘fessed up to a variety of embarrassing purchases and other closeted items that a woman of her age, gravity, intellect, and social standing probably should not own. This was a follow up to a post about embarrassing entertainment purchases, except Erin took it one step further, and I’m oh-so-glad that she did. This got me (and also Kasia) thinking about my guilty pleasures, the things SB can’t believe I own, and the things that I’m really a little shocked that I’ve kept despite moving at least once a year since 2002.

Without further ado:

  1. A subscription to People Magazine. I may be the only person you know who actually subscribes, but I can tell you that many others reap the benefit. I really enjoyed reading the trashy magazines that were left about when I was using the gym at UIUC, and the prospect of not being able to enjoy them in our building’s gym made me very sad.
  2. Not one but TWO Ace of Base albums. Not just the stolen mp3s – entire albums. Which I listen to without irony.
  3. A plaid button-down shirt from Abercrombie & Fitch purchased in Washington DC in the spring of 1993. It’s threadbare and huge, but I love it.
  4. A box of totally embarrassing notebooks ranging from notes exchanged between me and Sarah in high school to mortifying journals that I never want to look at again, but somehow can’t get rid of.
  5. A soup tureen, brought home on a whim from my parents’ house. Who needs an effing soup tureen?
  6. An obscene amount of bath products and lotions. At one point recently I put all the lotions I owned out to remind myself that I didn’t need more lotion, and there were at least three fragrance options, several unfragranced options, as well as several options for specific body parts (hands, feet). This doesn’t include any facial products.
  7. Several boxes of art supplies, which I haven’t used in at least two years, and also several boxes of letters, which I haven’t revisited in several years but am keeping for posterity’s sake nonetheless.
  8. Nursing bras, not because I’ve ever been pregnant or have nursed, but because for 18 months I failed at every attempt to buy bras, and so had to buy multiples of the first thing that fit.
  9. Holiday dishes (Christmas) and cat napkin rings ($1.50 at a yard sale!).
  10. Lots of scarves. Winter scarves. Decorative scarves. Neckerchiefs. Sitting in a drawer.

OK, so few of these things are actually embarrassing – most of them just fall into the category of “seriously? I own this crap?”. Regardless, I’m amused.


0 thoughts on “Guilty Confessions

  1. My mom lives for lotions. I rarely have to buy them b/c my mom buys it and then ends up giving them to me. We’re both happy that way. Lush has my favorite stuff and it is ridiculously expensive, so someone has to get it for me.


  2. Not to stereotype (obligatory statement you must iterate directly before you blatantly do), but I think this is a fundamental difference of the sexes.

    Ladies (Chicks are different) hoard things away and somehow find super secret hiding spots for these things and then mention them only when the occasion to subtly poke fun of ones perfect little imperfections occurs.

    Dudes (guys are different) proudly display these items of ’embarrassment’ which you’ll find anywhere they can put them. On a wall, prominent shelf, coffee table, blog, etc.

    But that’s just what I think and we ALL know how much that’s worth.


  3. I want a soup tureen.
    I don’t make a lot of soup, but I can’t help believe that when I do finally find the perfect one, I’ll make it much more often.


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