I would be lying if I said I was anything other than really, really sad right now. SB and I have spent the last two days – the last two and a half weeks, really – trying to keep busy and cheer each other up and avoid looking at all the spots where she loved to sit or sleep or absorb heat. She was so small – especially at the end – but her absence is enormous and tangible in our little apartment. I know it will get easier, and in some ways I think it started getting easier yesterday when we left the shelter, if only because we could stop worrying AND grieving AND hoping AND making decisions and instead focus on our grief and our memories. I put her tag on my key ring so that I’ll have a reminder of her every day.
Earlier in the month I made my resolutions for 2008, but I’ve since revised them somewhat. I haven’t checked last year’s list to see how poorly I did (and it was poorly), but I’ll do that soon. My list for 2008:
1. Read two books for pleasure each month.
2. See 12 movies in the theatre.
3. Take a trip west of the Mississippi (and also west of Iowa).
4. Go to Bonnaroo or Coachella.
5. Put $5,000 in savings by the end of the year (sub item: and leave it there).
6. Finish Couch to 5K and run a 5K.
7. Continue weight training and do an unassisted pull up.
8. Finish my CAS.
9. Get published.
10. Find a church.
11. Reconsider therapy and/or medication.
12. Beat SB at Zooloretto or Alhambra.
13. Finish 2007’s Bond-watching resolution.
I guess most of these are more like action items than resolutions, but that’s probably better anyway. I really enjoy checking things off lists. A final item:
14. Bring a new friend into our family.
We don’t want to replace Sid, but there’s a huge gaping hole in our lives without her, and we don’t want Basil to forget that other animals, especially other cats, are nice. Things feel oddly off balance with just one.