This morning I thought things were looking up – she showed some interest in food, waiting and meowing like she normally does, but ate little. Every few hours we’ve been waking her up, putting her in front of a dish of bacon or salami or kibble or chicken broth, hoping that something will pique her interest enough for just a couple of bites. She seems more alert and marginally stronger – at least when she’s fighting us as we try to pill her.

We’ve already canceled our New Years plans and most of our holiday travel. SB will be visiting his family for a couple of days, and when he gets back, I’ll be going to Illinois solo unless we can work something out between airfare and pet sitting.

I’m a big mess of sad and scared and disappointed and resentful and worried and heartbroken and a bunch of other things I can’t really articulate. This has been such a hard year, and I don’t want it to end with losing my small cat. I hope that isn’t too much to ask.

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