two years

Happy divorce-aversary to me!

My divorce was finalized two years ago today, meaning that I’ve officially been divorced longer than I was married. It’s hard to look back on that time and remember the choices that were made, the hurts that were inflicted, and the relationships irreparably broken – but all of those things have contributed to where I am now and while I wish I could undo some things that happened between me and people now lost to me, I am happy to be where I am today, sitting at my kitchen table working on a conference paper and nursing an ear infection.

I remember the tremendous amount of relief and sadness I felt walking out of that courtroom two years ago. My lawyer shook my hand and offered his congratulations, saying I was free to get married that very afternoon if I wanted to, though he advised against it. I’ve been feeling lately as if grad school was like a divorce – good god, I just want to be done with it, even though I know I’ve committed to staying on for four more years. It’s such a long and drawn out process, and I’ll be glad to be done with it, whenever that is.

I walked out of that courthouse positively glowing, jaded about a lot of things, but happy to be starting a new chapter of my life. I feel all those things all the time – about relationships, about school, about work, etc.

I promised a long time ago that I wouldn’t write about my ex in any sort of public way, and I want to hold to that promise, but I also want him to know that I wish him nothing but the best in life and in love. There are still lingering financial things that we’re dealing with, and I hope we can resolve them soon so that we can truly go our separate ways. He was a good man – we just weren’t good together.

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0 thoughts on “two years

  1. Glad to hear I’m not the only one with such feelings. Be careful who you say such things to though. The vast majority of people I’ve run across *expect* and almost even demand that I hate my ex. Can’t do it though.

    You are far wiser than your years would seem to indicate! Now Get Well!

    Like

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