in conversation last night someone said that sometimes you just have to take an exacto knife and cut away your worries and just be for a while. i replied that dancing is my exacto knife. i’m not the best dancer and i’m not incredibly coordinated, especially in tall heels after a few vodka tonics – but there is something to be said for just getting lost in the music, letting your mind go and putting your body in control – or, no, control’s not even the right word. just letting go – like last night on the dance floor, like last week, like those sunday afternoons dancing barefoot in the mud and the dust at the renn faire. dancing til i’m out of breath, til my body aches, til i’ve reached a point of blissed out that even sex can hardly touch.
i have been in the habit of learning self-control for so long. i have had to control specific aspects of my life, my heart, and my schedule for the sake of self-preservation for so long. there are things i have to keep in just to keep it together. sometimes, though, you have to just let go.
and i would give anything to be in a place in my life where i could just let go and be and love and live because i know love can be like that drum circle, like that dance floor, like that exacto knife. because i have known love that leaves you out of breath, body aching, blissed out beyond reason. here i am writing this with pixels and characters for all to read: i want to let go