“What happens when things stop being cosmic and become something you can hold in your hand in very real sense?” – Douglas Coupland, Eleanor Rigby

The last 24 hours have been just – remarkable. For the first time in days, definitely, but in a greater sense years I feel at peace. I have struggled for so long and now – now – now there is the beginning of understanding, the beginning of love, the beginning of something so terrifying I am conscious of consciously holding myself back. I want to talk about it because it’s all I can think about – and yet I’m afraid to because I don’t know if you’ll understand, or want to understand, or think me foolish for wanting to surrender to this.

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