how i’ve missed you lately
and the way we would speak
and all that we wouldn’t say
— iron & wine, “bird stealing bread”

I can’t believe it’s almost been a month. How much stronger I am now than I ever anticipated. How my life has changed in unexpected ways. How there are still things that stab right to the core of me – like Elliot Smith’s “Angels” or any of Damien Rice or reading on a marquee the name of a movie we saw or wanted to see together. I haven’t cried over him since Saturday, but every day this is with me in subtler ways. I don’t know – I just don’t know what to say.