I wonder if parenthood is an exercise against futility. I’m feeling a lot of that these days, and I found myself wondering that late last night.

I’m struggling because yesterday I gave up my beloved baby cat Gypsy. She went to live with my brother Mark. This will be the best thing for all of us, I think – I will be without the stress of trying to clean up after her accidents all the time, Mark gets a cat that he absolutely adores, and Gypsy gets a good home that isn’t the Humane Society – but it was still horridly hard. She was so sweet last night – and cute and good. It broke my heart to give her up, but I know it was the right thing.

And I’m worrying about my other cat because this is the first time he’s been alone. He’s managing just fine so far by pestering the hell out of me, and in the middle of the night we had to have a talk about not launching himself off my side after the catnip mousie. In fact, there will be no launching off me period. But before the launching he was sad and snuggly, and I hope he’ll be OK.

And – I don’t know. My friends are struggling, and I can’t help. My cat is lonely, and I have to work. The boy that I love is far away and having a hard time, and I can do nothing but wait for him to need me, and hope he knows I’m here for him. I just feel like my hands are tied.

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0 thoughts on “

  1. *hug* Your hands aren’t tied, it just feels like it. You do way way way way more good than you know every day, just by being you.

    There’s more to say, but I’ll email you, cause it’s not for public consumption. 😉

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  2. I had a cat (Stupid Dog was his name) when I lived in Florida. I loved him terribly and I ignored his peeing until the apt complex told me that when I moved into my new apt with my new rugs, if my cat peed all over them, there’d be trouble. So I gave him away. It was awful. Gypsy is a good place, and Gambit will get used to it. My cats still have each other, and they constantly take to launching themselves all over me while I’m sleeping. It’ll be okay. It’s a hard decision to make, but you’ll feel a lot better for making it.

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  3. Don’t go feeling like you aren’t of help to people! You probably do more than you’re aware of. Like the comment you left on my site… I’m in a bit of an icky place right now, and it helps me immensely just to know that I’m not the only one who thinks the way I do. *hug*

    And that was a brave thing to give Gypsy to Mark. I know that knowing you can see her whenever you want doesn’t make it less sad, but hopefully it will help in the future when you can just pop over to give her some treats, etc. Think of it– you’re like Gypsy’s grandma now! You get to have fun with her and play and cuddle her and enjoy her cuteness, but Mark has to clean up all her messes! =)

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