It is 8:45 and for the last 45 minutes we’ve been waiting for our trainer so we could start work. So for 45 minutes I’ve been sitting here, drinking my Maxwell House hazelnut coffee (with the terrifically buttery taste – this stuff’s freaking amazing) and checking my email and the blogs and such. Seems like a waste of 45 minutes x 3 (for my other training kids as well), but hey, that’s their choice.
Work was fine last night. I worked 6-9 with Megan, who just turned 21. No one splashed grill water on my food, and I got to actually talk to KFan while I ate my quesadilla (cheddar and chihuahua cheese, sesame mango dressing, black beans and corn). Every other time he’s been in I’ve been busy, or Shawn’s been there, so it was nice. Dave and I talked about cooking a lot – I’m bringing him cookbooks, and along the way got a little more inspired about cooking for myself. I went to Meijer after work and stocked up on produce, so this morning I had a smoothie with strawberry yogurt, OJ, half a banana, and a white peach. Tastiness.
I got to talk to Shawn for a little bit yesterday. I feel like I’m being the pathetic girlfriend at home, spoiling his fun by missing him – and I don’t want to be that person. On the other hand, I don’t want to have to beg for his attention, because I know I’m worth more than that. So I’m in a strange place, and I’m just trying to find my way. And I know I’ll be fine, and this’ll be over sooner than I think – but it’s still strange and hard at times.
Am actually finding people at work to talk to outside my training group – and that’s nice. I sat in the lunch room on Tuesday and felt totally out of place – like at the last two jobs. I’m fine with being overeducated and underpaid, but it’s always easier if there’s someone with whom you can commiserate. At AMCORE I had Dan, and at Busey I had great customers who thought our decorations equally lame (I miss my customers!). I’m still finding my way here as well – so maybe it’s an OK thing that no one talked to me in the lunchroom. Honestly (and this is terrible), I’d rather sit by myself and read than have to talk about reality TV and/or the latest deal on beef. Don’t get me wrong, I have trashy and superficial convos as much as the next girl – but the people with whom I have these convos can also talk about stuff that’s totally over my head.
OK, it’s now 9:03 and I’ve been doing nothing for literally an hour. I should’ve been reading – I could’ve finished Fellowship by now. Perhaps I should go pretend to be a diligent student – I think my frantic typing has given me away.