The archives are coming back online, slowly but surely.
I’m at Za’s eating lunch – fettucine with mushrooms, black olives, and grilled chicken in a cream wine sauce. There’s a group of girls sitting half a room away talking all pretentious-like, and it makes me laugh. They can’t be more than 15 – they’re talking about “fourth period” – and I wonder if I was that pretentious when I was that age. I’ve always been a stuck up sort of bitch – I’m friends with everyone but still look down my nose at people on occasion – but I don’t remember trying that hard when I was younger. Maybe I did. *shrugs*
Work is hella busy. Hella busy. Normally I have about 20 things to run in the morning – this morning we had almost 60. Thank god Ron is in today.
But back to the archives – reading all these entries, changing them for the page, updating links – it’s both good and difficult. There are things I’ve forgotten that I’m now reliving – and things I wish I could forget, but there they are, on the screen in front of me. It’s hard to encounter the person I once was – in many ways she is so different from the person I am now. Part of me wants to excise all proof that she existed, but the rest of me knows that I can’t, and that I would regret getting rid of that part of my past.